


Jingle Bells

by Missuniverse5000bc



Category: Victoriocity (Podcast)
Genre: Bell Family Christmas Lunch, Gen, I listened through for every mention of a Bell for this, and wild speculation about the number and order of Bell children, the rest is head canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:26:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27845982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missuniverse5000bc/pseuds/Missuniverse5000bc
Summary: The seating plan for the Bell family Christmas luncheon has been decided upon, Augusta takes her role in planning seriously for a reason.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 6





	1. Chapter 1

The Bell family Christmas lunch was a meticulously planned event and the one proper reunion per year where more than three Bells actually managed to be present. That was the problem with a family of such important influencers and high achievers, scheduling was a nightmare. Though without fail Augusta managed to drag at the very least eight out of ten Bells to dinner. This year was a particular success in that all ten Bells plus three guests were attending. Every Bell was entitled to bring a guest, which Augusta reaffirmed each year, but the natures of the individual siblings meant that it was only ever the same three of them who actually did. Augusta had hoped that by some stroke of luck Regulus might bring a different guest one year but it seemed Regulus’ wife was, unfortunately, a permanent addition.

The seating plan was carefully decided by Augusta Bell herself based on her general tolerance for her various younger siblings, which of them still owed her favours and which combinations would be least likely to end in unnecessary arguments. This role had been granted to her simply by way of her being the eldest Bell child.

She had seated herself at the head of the table, so she could oversee things. Besides her was Heraclea, one of the more sensible Bells who still managed to remain an interesting conversationalist. Her only real fault was that she worked too hard for most of the year and so occasionally started to drift off the later it got into the day. She was, as usual, accompanied by her long-time friend and colleague Professor Albertine Barnett. A professor of Ancient History, More Recent History, and Beginners Lifeguarding at Girton, who was more than used to the Bell family antics by now. Though for Heraclea’s sake Augusta liked to spare Albertine from Tiberius’ spontaneous poetry recitals since she was a large factor in convincing Heraclea to give herself a break and attend the family luncheon. It was the least Augusta could do in return for her looking out for one of her favourite sisters. 

Commodus sat to Augusta's other side, having been convinced to attend this time and leaving the armada in its happy stalemate with his second-in-command. His second-in-command was equally happy to take over playing badminton with Captain Stefan’s second-in-command as the Prussian Captain had taken this opportunity to pay his mother a Christmas visit. 

Augusta had placed Julius to the other side of Commodus, true to her word she had not put him beside Regulus’ wife in order to repay the favour she had asked of him many months ago. She was well aware he would not let her forget his role in getting her soon to be top crime reporter into parliament to unveil a conspiracy. She had, however, sat him beside Commodus, who she knew would happily tease Julius, who now owed _him_ a favour, in her place. 

Her theatrical younger sister Aurelia had been placed near the centre of the long wooden dining table, to Julius’ left. Her flair for dramatics could rival Julius’ and as she was prone to hopping between whoever's conversation she found most interesting this way she would hopefully remain seated during dinner whilst still being able to do so. Aurelia had, as she did every year, brought some new fascination of hers. Someone young and no doubt talented who Augusta had yet to really hear about, apparently she was an explorer of some sort, a specialist in rare plants or something absurd that Aurelia was quite taken with.

Opposite Aurelia and her adventurous horticulturist sat Maximus and Claudia, Maximus was paid far too much for how little he really did at the Foreign Office so he could afford to sit next to Claudia. She was a known thief, known to the family that is and additionally to a large portion of the criminal population of London, but she had principals too and stealing from wealthy members of parliament was fair game in her eyes. Maximus enjoyed her blunt sense of humour far more than he enjoyed the others’ teasing though so one couldn’t feel overly guilty about seating them together even if Maximus left with his wallet considerably lighter. Honestly, he seemed to take it as a, thankfully unspoken, sign of affection from his younger sister so who was Augusta to prevent that.

At the far end of the long table, Augusta had placed both Septimus and Tiberius. She had little patience for poetry and even less for the kind of large displays of sibling affection the two were known for. She could appreciate though, that the two got along well openly discussing feelings and were unlikely to cause unmanageable trouble. Even Regulus and his wife, who Augusta had placed opposite them, were no issue in this combination. Septimus would happily listen to anyone talking directly to him, even Regulus’ wife, and Tiberius could equally lecture about the deeper meanings of his work to anyone whether they understood or not (and it was most certainly _not_ in Regulus’ case).

Augusta observed all this over her wine glass at the head of the table. The Bell children talked loudly over each other on all sides, and yes, Augusta was more than satisfied with this year’s arrangements, the way things were going they had _at least_ two hours of relative harmony before someone (Tiberius) suggested charades and chaos descended. In Bell family history though, this was a major success.


	2. Chapter 2

A little over two hours later and the Bells had retired to the parlour after their meal, they were almost entirely unscathed with the only exception of the wine Regulus had spilled down himself.

The parlour, however, was more dangerous territory, free of a carefully thought out seating plan there was an insurmountable array of additional disasters bound to happen and the increased blood-alcohol levels of those present only made it even more so.

  
  


"Aurelia I do believe your guest is in danger of being trapped in a conversation with Septimus over there," Julius nodded his head towards the opposite end of the parlour, by the mantle.

The guest in question this evening had now been introduced properly as a Dr Maya binti Shuib, a young though well-travelled horticulturalist from Malaysia. 

Aurelia laughed and waved her younger brother off. "Oh I'm certain she'll survive without me - in fact she once survived alone for 23 days in the foothills of the Himalayas, she’s _quite_ the explorer!" 

Before Aurelia could expand on that Augusta huffed, "I don't know _where_ you find them Aurelia" 

Julius hummed in agreement, "Though at least it's not the juggler from last year" 

It was truly a miracle that only one family heirloom had been broken last year. Not by the juggler of course, she was as Aurelia had introduced her one of the very best of Lord Sanger’s circus and juggling the carving knives had been no issue for her. Tiberius however had gotten far too excited by the spectacle and had knocked over one of the priceless vases placed on the side table as he gestured wildly with his hands in amazement.

"Well, I _did_ consider trying to invite Miss Entwhistle this year…" Aurelia teased - although she likely was not entirely joking. Augusta saw it fit to nip that idea in the bud immediately... 

"You cannot invite one of my employees to a family dinner, Aurelia. I forbid it."

“And I, for one, would rather not mix business with pleasure” Julius agreed, almost a perfect mask of casual indifference apart from the slight concerned twitch of one eyebrow. Commodus had clearly embarrassed him enough this afternoon without Miss Entwhistle there to provide the rest of them with the full unedited version of his adventure out at sea.

Aurelia grinned wickedly, “Oh you're both no fun!” 

“And you are too easily swayed by a pretty face,” Julius said with a pointed look.

 _“And_ an interesting mind, don't sell me short Jules,” she replied easily.

The two would probably have continued back and forth this way for quite some time if their eldest sister had not intervened,

“Speaking of…” Augusta cleared her throat.

Dr. Maya had wrapped up her conversation with Septimus and was making her way across the room, looking for Aurelia presumably. Aurelia swept towards her and met her in the middle, steering her towards Heraclea and sparing only a brief wave for Julius and Augusta in her wake.

  
  
  
  


It wasn’t until they were right beside her that Heraclea looked up from where she was resting her head in her hand, precariously propped up by her elbow and slumped into a decorative chair.

“Bored of our company already?” Aurelia placed a hand on her sister’s shoulder sympathetically despite her teasing tone. 

“Of course not Aurelia," Heraclea blinked slowly, “There’s far too much excitement for that.”

“Even compared to the treacherous waters of Cambridge?” Aurelia questioned with no intention of waiting for an answer, turning to introduce her guest properly instead. Whilst there had been much conversation over dinner this particular pair had not truly had a chance to speak without being part of some larger discussion. “Maya, this is my sister Heraclea, head of Girton College, Cambridge”

The young doctor got in a quick “Nice to meet you,” and Heraclea smiled in return.

“And _this_ is Dr. Maya binti Shuib, horticulturist and expert in rare edible and medicinal plants” Aurelia finished with a flourish.

Her sister hummed with interest, “We could do with someone like you at Cambridge if you ever fancy lecturing,” she paused in thought, “we lost most of the plant sciences department and there aren’t nearly as many professors teaching useful survival skills as I would like”

Dr. Maya had, of course, heard the unfortunate tale of Cambridge’s fate, though seemed more intrigued than anything else by the prospect of lecturing on the great lake. 

“Which departments _did_ survive?” She inquired. Heraclea sighed.

“None entirely, we have the most geographers out of any department but that was largely due to a fortunately timed field trip.

We have combined most remaining departments now and most of our lecturers teach multiple subjects to cover the loss alongside their main, Albertine teaches three in fact,”

"And where is your dear friend? You’re normally attached at the hip" Aurelia cut in, curiously.

"I'm afraid I may have abandoned her, but if I go over there to rescue her I will be instantly put to sleep by the very idea of one of Maud’s year-long stories" Heraclea winced.

On a sofa a few paces away Albertine was indeed listening to Regulus’s wife ramble on, unfortunately too polite to excuse herself. 

"The one about Samuel's seventh birthday party? Yes, I believe you have told me that one" she smiled with the tired patience of a senior lecturer,

"No, no, if you want to tell it again…"

  
  


Whilst Aurelia was truly concerned for the poor woman, she was not willing to intervene first hand, she could feel the dreariness seeping across the room from where she stood.

"Commodus!"

She summoned her eldest brother instead. 

Commodus had been in the middle of demonstrating his winning badminton swing, dangerously close to the opened bottle of champagne beside him, as Maximus looked on skeptically.

Aurelia waved him over, "Be a dear and rescue Albertine would you?"

He grimaced. "Ahhh, as much as you know I would love to, I couldn't possibly take a risk like that with no assured reward!”

Commodus was a firm supporter of the belief that sometimes, the best course of action was no course of action. It worked for maintaining peace through a naval stalemate and so he saw no reason why it was not a valid course of action in most other daily scenarios too.

Aurelia tapped her chin, “I happen to have three unopened boxes of luxury swiss chocolates gifted from a wealthy patron of the museum which I _suppose_ I could offer in return”

Commodus was, however, swayed by the promise of chocolate, the choice of food onboard a naval vessel was rather lacking towards the end of the year. 

“Say no more! Your wish is my command”  
  


He beelined towards Mrs. Maud Bell, joining her one-sided conversation with Albertine. A few moments later he let out a bellowing and overdone laugh,

"Oh, you must tell that one to Julius, I know he just _loves_ clowns" 

As he steered Maud towards an unsuspecting Julius, he passed a further four Bells caught in their own mischief and paid them no mind.

  
  
  


The group which he had passed consisted of Claudia, Regulus, Septimus, and Tiberius Bell. If Commodus had stopped he might have questioned why three of them were trying to lift Tiberius so he could stand atop the upright piano. More likely though, he would have just laughed.

After a successful shove Tiberius teetered precariously where he was now balanced, a nervous Septimus did his best to spot him and Regulus celebrated happily, unsure himself why they had been trying to achieve this but pleased anyway that they had accomplished their goal.

Claudia let go of one of Tiberius’ ankles now that he was more or less steady, and picked up her glass to tap it loudly.

“What greater moment than now for Tiberius to recite one of his most fitting poems at our family gathering” She declared in response to the curious and disapproving looks throughout the room.

Tiberius wobbled and cleared his throat,

“‘ _Family_ …”

  
  
  
  


“Oh good heavens,” Augusta muttered, though she knew a lost cause when she saw one. There was no stopping the feelings-filled recital that was about to happen. It was highly possible that charades would have been a kinder fate after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of this was dialogue I wanted to include in the first part, but it didn't really fit the flow in the end. Anyway it morphed into a chapter of its own!

**Author's Note:**

> A festive fic where I take on Augusta's role of trying to decide which combination of Bells would result in the least amount of chaos and the highest likelihood of them actually finishing lunch in peace.
> 
> I counted 10 Bells in total when I relistened but still not entirely sure I didn't miss one, and who knows how many more may appear in future seasons...


End file.
